Just got served? Here's what happens next.

Someone handed you papers, or you found them on your door, or a sheriff’s deputy showed up at work. Your stomach dropped. You don’t know what any of it means yet, and the part of your brain that handles "what do I do now" is currently offline.

Take a breath. The next 30 days have a shape to them. Here is what that shape looks like.

First: what you’re actually holding

The packet almost always contains two documents — the petition (sometimes called a complaint) and a summons.

The summons is the court’s formal notice telling you the case exists and that you have a deadline to respond. That deadline is the most important date in your packet. It is usually printed in bold somewhere on the first page or two.

The clock is real

Most states give you 20 or 30 days to respond. A few are longer. If you do nothing by that deadline, the court can grant your spouse most or all of what they asked for in the petition by default. This is the single biggest mistake unrepresented people make: they freeze, the deadline passes, and the court enters orders they never had a chance to argue against.

So: find the deadline. Write it on your calendar. Set a phone reminder for one week before it.

You do not need to have figured out anything else yet. You just need to know when this date is.

What to do this week

Three things, in order:

1. Read the petition all the way through, twice. Once to absorb the shock. Once with a pen, marking anything you don’t understand or strongly disagree with. Don’t try to "rebut" it in your head — just understand what is being asked for.

2. Make copies. Photograph or scan every page on your phone. Put the originals somewhere safe. You will be referring back to these documents for months.

3. Don’t move money, hide anything, or post about it. Courts strongly disfavor "self-help" once a case is filed. Emptying a joint bank account, transferring titles, or making public statements about your spouse can hurt you badly later — even if it feels justified in the moment.

Filing your response

The document you’ll file in reply is usually called a response or answer. Some jurisdictions call it a counter-petition if you’re asking for things of your own.

You don’t have to agree to everything your spouse asked for — but you also don’t have to fight every paragraph. Many people in your situation respond by agreeing to the divorce itself but pushing back on specific terms. That is a normal, low-conflict shape for a response.

Each state has a fillable form for this. They are free and downloadable from your state court’s website. Search "[your state] family court response divorce form."

What probably won’t happen in the next 30 days

It helps to know what is not about to happen, because Hollywood and Reddit can make this feel more dramatic than it is.

• A judge will not rule on the merits of your marriage. The court is not deciding who was right. It is processing paperwork.
• You will not be in court tomorrow. Most first hearings, if there is one, are weeks or months out.
• Nothing is final. The petition is a request. Even temporary orders are temporary.
• You don’t have to "win" anything by the deadline. You just have to respond.

The four things this case will eventually decide

Even if your head is still spinning from the packet, it helps to know where this is heading. Almost every divorce settles four things: how kids are cared for, how money flows between you (support), how property and debts are divided, and what your agreed-upon rules look like going forward. The petition you’re holding is just the first draft of someone’s answer to those four questions. Nothing about it is locked in.

Should you hire someone?

It depends. If there are kids, significant assets, debts you didn’t know about, allegations of abuse, or your spouse already has an attorney, talking to a family-law attorney in your state is usually worth the consultation fee. If your marriage was short, you have no kids, you have similar incomes, and you mostly agree on how to split things — many people in your situation finish the whole thing without hiring anyone.

That decision can wait a week. The deadline cannot.

The one thing to do today

Find the response deadline on your summons. Put it in your calendar. Then close the packet, put it in a drawer, and let your nervous system reset for an evening. You will come back to this tomorrow with a clearer head. You can do this.