Getting started
The procedural opening moves — residency, filing the petition, serving the other party, paperwork, fees, and when to bring an attorney in.
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Read these in order.
A curated path through getting started, picked so the next article builds on the last.
- When should you actually hire an attorney?Honest answer — most no-fault uncontested divorces don't need one. Here are the specific situations where you absolutely should.4-minute read
- The paperwork checklist: what to gather before you fileThree years of returns, recent pay stubs, account statements, kids’ records — the document inventory that makes the rest of the divorce 10× easier.5-minute read
- Pre-filing financial prep: what to do in the months beforeBuilding independent credit, documenting the marital picture, opening your own accounts, and the line between responsible prep and impermissible asset moves.5-minute read
- Filing the petition: the first official stepThe opening document of a divorce — what it is, where it gets filed, what to attach, and the rejection errors that send most first-timers back to square one.5-minute read
- Filing fees and fee waivers — what divorce actually costsCourt filing fees, the extras that add up, and how to ask the court to waive them if you can’t afford to pay — plus what waivers cover and don’t.5-minute read
- Serving your spouse: how it works (and how it can go wrong)What counts as official notice, what doesn’t, and what to do if your spouse won’t accept the papers — or can’t be found at all.4-minute read
- Serving documents after the petition: the deadline trap that catches pro se filersWhy email isn't enough, why physical mail is the default, and the mutual-agreement rule that decides whether you met your deadline.5-minute read
- You’ve been served — now what?The respondent's playbook. What goes in your response, when to counter-petition, what default judgment looks like, and how to ask for more time.5-minute read
- Temporary orders: the rules that hold while the case runsCourt orders that govern custody, support, the house, and bills while the divorce is pending — what you can ask for, how to ask, and what they don’t decide.5-minute read
- Discovery: the formal information exchangeInterrogatories, depositions, document requests, subpoenas — the pre-trial information exchange, when it matters, and what it actually costs.5-minute read
- Mediation: when it's cheaper, faster, and not for everyoneA trained neutral helps you negotiate without a courtroom. When mediation works, when it absolutely doesn’t, and what to bring to the first session.5-minute read
- Settling vs. going to trial: when each is the right callRoughly 95% of divorces settle. The decision framework for when settlement is right, when trial is the better lever, and what trial actually costs.5-minute read
The full library
Everything else in getting started.
Getting started
Just got served? Here's what happens next.
The first 30 days after being served — what the paperwork is, what deadlines you're now on, and what to do this week.
4-minute read
Getting started
Filling out divorce forms without an attorney
Where to find official state forms, the common errors that trigger rejection, e-filing tips, and when DIY documents work vs. when an attorney earns the fee.
5-minute read
Getting started
How to find a divorce mediator who fits your case
Where to search, what credentials matter, the facilitative vs. evaluative distinction, what to ask in the consult, and the red flags worth heeding.
5-minute read
Getting started
Preparing for divorce mediation
Documents to bring, decisions to think through first, your BATNA, how anchoring shapes outcomes, and the emotional prep that pays off in the room.
5-minute read
Getting started
Preparing for a divorce trial
Witnesses, exhibits, opening statements, your testimony, cross-examination, and the months of work that go into the days before a contested divorce trial.
5-minute read
Getting started
Exhibit books: the physical artifact of a hearing
Numbering, tabs, binders, how many copies, where to order supplies for less, and why your judge may have strong feelings about all of it.
5-minute read